How do we define success? Is it by overworking yourself, putting in the hours, and achieving financial goals? Is it working hard to fulfill that career you longly have strived for. It could be all these things, that most people would define as one who is successful in life. But does success also mean you are more deserving or more worthy than someone who makes less; someone who has not “worked as hard”, or chosen a different path. So for today’s cup of tea or coffee, as I now prefer, is all about answering my definition of success, seeing how failure plays a role and whether self-worth is earned.
I grew up unconsciously thinking that in order to allow myself a break, I had to have some sort of reason to do so. I had to have worked a really long shift, barely eaten, and feeling fatigued to say you know I deserve the next day off to rest. But when I tried to figure out why I thought that way, I realized this culture (my environment) has embedded this idea that we must be deserving of a break to receive one. And even if we are truly exhausted, we must persist, and keep pushing. I think along the way we forget about our mental, emotional, and physical health, because we are so focused on a certain goal, that the thought of resting doesn’t allow more time to work. The thought is once we reach this goal, we are successful in completing it until the next goal is to be achieved. But success should not have to be seen as a higher ground to climb to. I would say success is within the journey itself- all of the baby steps and long hikes.
However, you don’t have to reach the “end” of that journey in order for you to feel like you are great or ready for something great. If I’m being honest you will always continue to strive for something better. The grass is always greener on the other side. That’s how I think our culture views success, a person who is rushing to the finish line. An individual who overworks, and pushes themselves so hard to get a taste for the greener side. In the process they forget that they need to water their own grass, the person doesn’t take care of themselves and may feel guilty for doing so. Success is not feeling so fatigued that you don’t have the capability to do as you please, it’s not being overworked that you feel restless, and it’s certainly not being unhappy with yourself. Success to me is acknowledging your achievements, and to be patient with your goals. I’m going to attempt to come up with an analogy for my definition of success: you don’t expect a flower to grow without planting the seed in nutritious soil, without watering it and putting it in a place with no sunlight. Growing a flower takes time, just like everything you cultivate. So be patient, nourish your environment, and don’t feel guilty for taking the time to replenish. Watch your flower grow.
The opposite of success- is failure. I used to have a great fear of failure; I still do a little bit. I was afraid to start solely because I felt I would fail at it. This fear is the reason it took me a while to start this blog, that I had been wanting to do. This fear also shaped my original understanding of success. I saw success as this shining star, with rainbows and pots of gold- not exaggerating. The problem though was that this vision only made failure a much darker and a much harder fall. But the thing is, there is no success without failure (even those who seem lucky), they work together. This is why phrases such as “don’t give up” are always thrown at us. The idea that just because something didn’t go your way doesn’t mean you should give up what you had started. Failure, or something not going the way you had intended, happens. Like I repeatedly tell myself that this is just the way of life, but you’re just going to have to dust yourself off and get up again. I realized that failing at something can also be useful to your goals because it teaches you something. You just have to learn a new way to navigate to that goal. And as for someone such as myself who feared failing, be open to the lesson.
Your definition of success may be different from mine and that’s okay. You may want to work hard in the beginning to reach your financial goals or whatever the goal may be. That’s also okay! I want to remind you that, it’s also okay to sleep in, to take a day off to relax, to take a break. We all need a break from time to time, to recollect ourselves. We need the rest to regulate our health so we can continue to be efficient in our work. You are not wasting time by doing so because your body, and your mind depends on this to function.
This is what I mean by it’s a journey, these huge goals take time to achieve. If you want to be successful in a career, with wealth, a business, in fitness, or whatever it may be, it may take years. You may fall down pretty hard a few times. But don’t forget along the way that your success does not determine whether you are worthy of something, because you were worthy of great things before your journey started.
